A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, " Do you have any allergies"?

The guy says, "yes, caffeine".

The interviewer says, " have you ever been in the service"?

he says, "I was in Iraq for two years".

the interviewer said , "that will get you 5 extra points toward employment".

The interviewer asked, "do you have any disabilities"?

The guy said, "yes, an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off".

The interviewer said, "ok, in that case I can hire you right now. Normal working hours are from 8 am to 4 pm Monday through Friday. So you can plan on starting at 10 am".

The guy asked, " if normal hours start at 8 am why do you want me to start at 10 am every day"?

The interviewer said, "this is a government job. The first two hours we stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that

Ghost lecture

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A professor at the University of South Carolina was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a
Ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one
has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your
experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Bubba replied, "Shiiiiiiit!! From way back there I thought you said "Goats."