I heard they have a good conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

Postal Mail Problem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sardarji is speaking to her psychiatrist.

Sardarji, "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

Psychiatrist, "Don't you have a phone in your car?"

Sardarji, "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist, "Uh ... How's that working?"

Sardarji, "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

Psychiatrist, "And why do you think that is?"

Sardarji, "I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

SCARY JOKE

Think twice next time you jump into a strangers car !

This story happened about a month ago, in a little town in Mexico, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale it's real.

This guy was on the side of the road, hitch hiking, on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was black and no cars went by. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It stopped. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car, closed the door and and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel.

The car started slowly. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared he starts to pray begging for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears thru the window and moves the wheel.The guy, paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they get to a curve.

The guy, gathering strength, gets out of the car and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a cantina and asks for two shots of tequila,and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went thru. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy is crying and isn't drunk.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same cantina and one said to the other. "Look Pepe, there's the jerk that got in the car when we were pushing it!!! "

Bill Clinton and Ladies


An official gallup survey polled over 1000 ladies with this question:

Would you sleep with Bill Clinton?

1% said, "NO."

2% said, "YES."

97% said, "NEVER AGAIN."

hehehehehehhe....!!!
Good one..!!

In Love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A BOY in love with a girl presented her with a lotus flower.

In return the girl gave him a tight slap across his face. The boy was taken aback and asked, 'I gave you a flower and you paid me back in this way. Why?'

The girl replied, 'you gave me a kamal which is the emblem of the BJP and I gave you haath which is the emblem of the Congress party.'

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retire and fall asleep quickly. He is in the upper bunk and she is in the lower bunk. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying: "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.

Laloo and Cigarette


Laloo went to a cigarette shop and asked for one "Wills."

Laloo told the vendor, "Bhai ek Will dena."

Vendor tells Laloo there is no brand by the name of Will, it is Wills.

But Laloo insists he wants one Will.

The vendor tells Laloo that unless he says it correctly i.e. "Wills" he won't sell it to him.

Laloo gets mad and says,"Hum ek hi to maang rahen hain, pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain."

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Kashmir


Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat as yet, read on).

He goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Parvez Musharaff.

They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes.

Laloo emerges from the room after the meeting, reporters clamour for a statement.

"Pervezbhai will make the announcement," is all Laloo says.

Parvez comes out and drops a bombshell, "Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir with no strings attached."

The world is stunned, Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years.

"How did you do it, what did you promise?" the press clamours.

"Sab Akai-walon ka kamal hai," says Laloo.

"Woh kehte hain na, TV loge toh Fridge saath mein donga, Video khareedenge toh cellphone free, toh humne bhi Pervezbhai se keh diya, aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaaiyeh, par saath mein Bihar bhi milega, bas !"

Clocks in Heaven


A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked St. Peter, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock, every time you lie the hand on the clock will move."

"Oh!" said the man, "and whose clock is that?"

"That used to be Mother Teresa's clock, the hand has never moved, indicating that she had never told a lie, her entire life," replied St. Peter.

"Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That was Abraham Lincoln's clock, the hand had moved only twice, telling us that in his whole life, he spoke only two lies."

"Where is George Bush, Jr's, clock?" asked the man.

Bush's clock is in Jesus' office, He's using it as a ceiling fan," replied St. Peter.

An Arab needed heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. Because the gentleman had rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.

Finally a Gujarati like Kanjibhai was located who had similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Rolls, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars. Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him! why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner. The Arab replied " Sahib - now I have Guju blood in my veins ! "

Mechanic VS Doctor


Mechanic Kumar was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Harpreet, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager.

Kumar, who was somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey Harpreet, is that you? Come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Kumar was working on the car. Kumar in a loud voice that all could here, asked argumentatively, "So, Mr. fancy doctor, look at this work, I too, take valves out, grind them, put in new parts, and when I am finished, this baby will purr like a kitten, so how come you get the big rupees, when you and me are basically doing the same work?"

Dr. Harpreet, very embarrassed, shook his head and replied in a soft voice, "Try doing your work with the engine running."

Ashcroft and children


Attorney General Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school.

After giving his introductory speech, he announced, "All right, boys and girls, you can ask me questions now."

A little boy named Sunny raised his hand and asked, "Mr Ashcroft, I have three questions. First, how did Mr. Bush win the last election with fewer votes then Gore? Second, why have you not found any chemical weapons in Iraq? And third, why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden as yet?"

Just then the bell rang and all the kids ran out to the playground.

After lunch the kids were back in the classroom and Attorney General Ashcroft said, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can ask me questions."

A little girl raised her hand and said, "Mr. Ashcroft, I have five questions. First, how did Bush win the last elections with fewer votes then Gore? Second, why have you not found any chemical weapons in Iraq? Third, why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden as yet? Fourth, why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? And finally, where is Sunny?"

nice one

Rakesh & Hasi


Rakesh and Hasi stayed in the same condominium. Rakesh on the ground floor and Hasi on the 28th floor.

One day when the lift wasn't working, Hasi invited Rakesh for dinner.

Rakesh walked up to the 28th floor to find Hasi's flat closed from outside and had a note that read, "How did you enjoy your dinner?"

Not to be outdone, Rakesh wrote under it, "Sorry, I could not make it."